why didn't you poke me back
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
