Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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