i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
