So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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