There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Come see our sink grown plant.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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