Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
