Quick, to the slutcave!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.