Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I thought she had blonde hair

  (302): View more from Delaware

  No, Gonorrhea actually

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  (610): I thought she had blonde hair (302): No, Gonorrhea actually http://tfl.nu/3gym
  Replies (6) Good night (712) Bad night (1703)
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  (714): View more from California

  Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.

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  (714): Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor. http://tfl.nu/w05t
  Replies (10) Good night (715) Bad night (4971)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  they had a keg party to fund her abortion.

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  (617): they had a keg party to fund her abortion. http://tfl.nu/e4dr
  Replies (79) Good night (2717) Bad night (5212)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.

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  (229): New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents. http://tfl.nu/bhqx
  Replies (21) Good night (6668) Bad night (850)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.

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  (330): Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge. http://tfl.nu/j5wy
  Replies (8) Good night (4439) Bad night (978)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me

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  (+44): The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me http://tfl.nu/123e
  Replies (6) Good night (1249) Bad night (2996)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.

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  (575): We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins. http://tfl.nu/gnps
  Replies (9) Good night (2739) Bad night (838)
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  (695): View more from

  it was like a congratulatory penis slap

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  (695): it was like a congratulatory penis slap http://tfl.nu/qsp5
  Replies (17) Good night (1267) Bad night (732)
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  (408): View more from California

  So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl

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  (408): So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl http://tfl.nu/o5bm
  Replies (8) Good night (2265) Bad night (546)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.

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  (512): Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America. http://tfl.nu/xibs
  Replies (1) Good night (1910) Bad night (459)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  Next. Level. Shit.

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  (910): I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower. (1-910): Next. Level. Shit. http://tfl.nu/dulw
  Replies (5) Good night (1260) Bad night (327)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.

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  (585): Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house. http://tfl.nu/r6xm
  Replies (4) Good night (1282) Bad night (421)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Blow job season was short but glorious.

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  (214): Blow job season was short but glorious. http://tfl.nu/338e
  Replies (8) Good night (573) Bad night (295)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch

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  (330): Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch http://tfl.nu/nj3s
  Replies (1) Good night (445) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?

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  (425): How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"? http://tfl.nu/pajq
  Replies (14) Good night (1002) Bad night (328)

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