Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.