Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

what do you have against ST

(1-540): View more from Virginia

DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.

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(540): what do you have against ST (1-540): DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS. http://tfl.nu/zpvl

Replies (11) Good night (3257) Bad night (855)
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(512): View more from Texas

I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...

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(512): I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night... http://tfl.nu/5pml

Replies (15) Good night (1288) Bad night (3491)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.

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(865): all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink. http://tfl.nu/yxat

Replies (8) Good night (3324) Bad night (1065)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.

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(267): I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement. http://tfl.nu/314h

Replies (10) Good night (1330) Bad night (2879)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.

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(678): I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks. http://tfl.nu/fb5x

Replies (8) Good night (2707) Bad night (593)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.

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(303): Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize. http://tfl.nu/r92i

Replies (20) Good night (3043) Bad night (809)
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(229): View more from Georgia

No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.

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(229): No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional. http://tfl.nu/bawb

Replies (8) Good night (2531) Bad night (1097)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.

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(605): This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired. http://tfl.nu/sykd

Replies (1) Good night (2430) Bad night (737)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.

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(319): Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year. http://tfl.nu/pkn3

Replies (5) Good night (1826) Bad night (546)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?

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(919): Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight? http://tfl.nu/lpr7

Replies (5) Good night (1121) Bad night (412)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.

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(757): I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away. http://tfl.nu/b7dn

Replies (4) Good night (767) Bad night (750)
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(310): View more from California

If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.

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(310): If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me. http://tfl.nu/jaom

Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (326)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"

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(336): Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem" http://tfl.nu/nmt9

Replies (3) Good night (614) Bad night (249)
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(406): View more from Montana

3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.

(1-406): View more from Montana

How stoned are you?

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(406): 3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant. (1-406): How stoned are you? http://tfl.nu/v7x3

Replies (1) Good night (628) Bad night (236)
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(310): View more from California

I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected

(1-310): View more from California

Only you would come out as bi like that

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(310): I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected (1-310): Only you would come out as bi like that http://tfl.nu/6y64

Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (234)

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