I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
