and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
