The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
