I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
