Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
