Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.

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  (602): She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section. http://tfl.nu/g47a
  Replies (44) Good night (2031) Bad night (6053)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.

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  (843): No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear. http://tfl.nu/va6s
  Replies (47) Good night (4758) Bad night (661)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.

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  (630): Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night. http://tfl.nu/wu2q
  Replies (20) Good night (1163) Bad night (5450)
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  (650): View more from California

  Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.

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  (650): Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right. http://tfl.nu/x2bs
  Replies (3) Good night (2694) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name

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  (914): He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name http://tfl.nu/48t9
  Replies (3) Good night (3186) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.

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  (514): bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister. http://tfl.nu/visn
  Replies (7) Good night (1375) Bad night (2231)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.

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  (262): Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink. http://tfl.nu/n6v7
  Replies (14) Good night (3303) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.

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  (404): I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/16j0
  Replies (14) Good night (3322) Bad night (620)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.

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  (781): If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us. http://tfl.nu/xpf1
  Replies (28) Good night (2081) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"

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  (641): But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen" http://tfl.nu/78x7
  Replies (7) Good night (1052) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica

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  (540): I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica http://tfl.nu/lleg
  Replies (2) Good night (1868) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now

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  (303): Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now http://tfl.nu/ssv3
  Replies (5) Good night (517) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.

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  (570): She needs more friends. Or a second therapist. http://tfl.nu/00pk
  Replies (1) Good night (491) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.

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  (704): You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player. http://tfl.nu/yxi1
  Replies (2) Good night (300) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..

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  (708): that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs.. http://tfl.nu/9ni1
  Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (182)

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