What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box