drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.