Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
