so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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