so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
