My room smells like vodka and shame
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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