We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
