It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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