I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
