Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
