i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
