i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
