don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
