We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
