I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
