What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
