i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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