Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
