if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I did not marry a roomba.
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