i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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