We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
