So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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