Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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