He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
