I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize