Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
