And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
