i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
