I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
