Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
there is glitter all over my balls
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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