I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
