Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
