I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
