just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
