Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
