so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
