If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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