then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
