I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
