Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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