Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize