Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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