That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is wine microwaveable?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
