i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
