You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
