my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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