Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
accomplished twins. life is a go
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
40s are totally the cure
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
