Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
