Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
