But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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