Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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