I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
When are your genitals available?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
