So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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