I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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