Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
