is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Non-Jews are for practice
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
