I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
