Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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