I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
